So long, Savannah's!

 When I first got out of college, I migrated to the Albany area out of convenience. I had friends and family nearby and had spent my summers between semesters there, so it was just a natural move for me. I was a budding singer/songwriter and as naïve as the day was long. I started attending open mics to work on my craft and see about making my dreams of becoming a musician come true. I stumbled upon an open jam. Not knowing what one really was, I showed up with my out of tune classical guitar (which was not meant for the pounding rhythm style I put upon it) and the hopes of doing a couple songs. Out of my league was an understatement. There was a full blues/rock band on stage when I walked in. They certainly were not open mic types. Before I could chicken out, one of the guys in the band asked if I was there to play. I nodded nervously. He said “who would you like to get up with?” I had no idea what he was talking about so I said “just me, I guess.” In hindsight they were far too nice to me, but their support led to learn a lot – mostly learn what the difference was between an open mic and an open jam. They also informed me that the following week they would be at a new location called “Savannah’s” in downtown Albany.

I slowly worked my way on to this stage at Savannah’s, desperately trying to just blend in. I had no delusions; I just wanted to fit in and not embarrass myself. This was a much smaller and more achievable goal then trying to stand out or even become mediocre in a group of greats. Nope. Just wanted to go by unnoticed and soak it all in like a sponge. After a few weeks I started doing this. I stopped bringing my guitar and opted to just sing. This meant learning songs that I could sing with them, which I sang like a desperate karaoke queen. I knew I wasn’t very good. But these guys were nice. Maybe they saw something in me, but I can’t tell you what that could have been. I thought “you know, I sing my own songs pretty well, maybe if I bring one of my songs and it’s easy enough to follow for these guys, we could try that?” I insulted them by asking “if it’s not standard blues can you still play with me?” A guitar player named Garry said “what are the chords?” I said “E, G and D.” He laughed and said “yeah, I think we can handle that”.

But something still wasn’t clicking. I knew I was capable of more and so I wanted more. I didn’t want to blend. I wanted to be great. I knew I had it in me, I just didn’t know how to get it out. There was one song that I always sang to myself in my car. It was an a capella song that I just knew I could sing like nobody’s business. I went to Savannah’s and asked the owner “what do you think about me singing an a capella song?” He said “I wouldn’t suggest it. This is a tough crowd.” I thought about it a minute and decided to do it anyway. I had to. I told him this and he shook his head and said “alright. If you want to.” He got up a little later and when it was my time he said “ok Erin’s up next, she’s gonna do…..something…..” and turned and told the band they weren’t gonna play the first song. So they sat at ease. This place was loud and very used to a constant stream of rock and blues. I had some fucking nerve.

I got up. I was shaking. I closed my eyes and began to sing. It was so loud that I cancelled out the sound in my head and just focused on the song. It became silent in my head except for a little voice saying “I don’t remember this song being so long…..oh my god what was I thinking?” Otherwise silent in my head, I came upon the end of it and finished strong. Still shaking, I took a step back from the microphone and opened my eyes. I realized it wasn’t only silent in my head. It was dead silent in the bar. As quiet as I have ever heard it. A slow round of applause started and erupted into a standing ovation. I could’ve thrown up. People looked shocked. I’m sure I did too. I picked up a guitar, smiled at the band (who also looked at me in shock) and went into my next song. I sang it with a whole new voice. Stronger and more confident than I had ever been. It was like I had found my soul and my voice all at once. It’s the strength and confidence I try to bring to the stage each time I have performed since. It was an incredible moment for me and an absolute turning point in my musical career. It was at Savannah’s.

Since then I’ve garnered a much storied history at this bar. Watching it change hands, change walls, change sound. I have so many memories and more importantly lessons. Not all the memories are of great moments, but they’ve shaped who I am today as a musician and a person and I’m pretty ok with that person. I feel like even though I said goodbye to Savannah’s years ago, last night I physically let go when I sang my last note, strummed my last chord, stepped off the stage and walked out the doors for the last time. If those walls could talk, I would only hope that someone would have the decency to put it to music.

Thanks for the memories, Savannah’s.