How I spent my Memorial Day Weekend.
Gas prices be damned. I have the money. I'll spend it how I want. Honestly, I don’t understand what all the hubbub is about.
I filled up my Hummer at some Paki joint around the corner. Then I sped over to the grocery store to stock up on some veal. I bought a ton, if I don’t eat it all of it, oh well. Maybe if I can remember, I can freeze it for later, or just throw it out, no matter. I can always get more. You haven’t lived until you’ve had my barbeque veal. Mmmm, mmm.
So I hit the road. Sometimes, when there’s no one around, I try to see what this baby can do. I got ‘er up to 120 before I saw another car. Man them Adirondacks are pretty, but if you ever get the chance to take you hummer up to a buck twenty five? Do it.
Then I felt like I should’ve taken in the scenery a bit more, after all, I am on vacation. So I turned around, went back, and drove those 75 miles again.
Then I stopped to fill ‘er up. Man is it expensive to fill this thing.
I got a little hungry about an hour later so I pulled through the McDonalds. The drive thru was taking forever, so I figured I’d park and go in. Man was it hot outside. I left her running so when I came back out, she’d be nice and cool. And it was a damn good thing I did too, because inside the restaurant was not much faster.
About a half hour later I get back on the road. Only 3 more hours to go! I found myself cursing out McDonalds. When in the hell did they switch to this flimsy paper packaging? I got mustard all over my camo! What happened to those awesome, sturdy, styrofoam containers? Never had to worry about making a mess with those! Since the outside of the wrapper was as messy as the inside, I had no choice but to throw it out the window. I can’t get that on my leather seats. I just armoralled them. You ever use armorall? Shit’s great. But don’t buy the pump one, it just doesn’t work as well. They have the same brand in an aerosol container, hell, does half the work for you!
Then I pulled over for some gas. Also picked up some petrol for the grill. I can’t grill veal over an open fire. You’re just risking over cooking that meat. I need my veal rare.
So I finally get to my exit off the Northway. Absolutely breathtaking. After I stop off the exit and refuel, I head up the side of the mountain to my campsite. My huntin' buddies have beat me there. They drive WAY fast. The sun was about to come down so we got our fire going. No one brought any newspaper! We searched for something. I found a book called the Grapes of Wrath. Sounds too fancy to me. It worked great and that fire was going in no time.
It weren’t enough to keep me warm, so I got out my Carhartt. This thing is warmer than my granmommy’s lap on an August afternoon. It’s lined with fur. Not that imitation shit neither, no sir, this is the real deal.
The next day we did some hunting, fishing, swimming, you know, man stuff. Junior had a great idea of bobbing for bottles in the river. We found most of ‘em. Hey, you can’t win ‘em all. That Junior, what an smart ol’ coot he is.
Then we gassed up our boat and went out and fished some more. But I remembered we had our veal for dinner that night! And I aint about to sit around some rotting fish till tomorrow, so we threw ‘em back. Couple of them was still able to swim.
That night, we feasted on our veal. Most of it was edible, Junior over cooked some of it. The dogs wouldn’t even eat it!
All in all it was a great weekend. We spent some time making plans for next year. An Alaskan fishing trip. Junior’s got a cousin who works on an oil rig. He says we can drink on the boat if we’re careful, he does all the time. He says those things practically pilot themselves. If we’re lucky, we’ll see some seals! I’ve already got my club picked out. Have a nice summer, y’all!
Gas prices be damned. I have the money. I'll spend it how I want. Honestly, I don’t understand what all the hubbub is about.
I filled up my Hummer at some Paki joint around the corner. Then I sped over to the grocery store to stock up on some veal. I bought a ton, if I don’t eat it all of it, oh well. Maybe if I can remember, I can freeze it for later, or just throw it out, no matter. I can always get more. You haven’t lived until you’ve had my barbeque veal. Mmmm, mmm.
So I hit the road. Sometimes, when there’s no one around, I try to see what this baby can do. I got ‘er up to 120 before I saw another car. Man them Adirondacks are pretty, but if you ever get the chance to take you hummer up to a buck twenty five? Do it.
Then I felt like I should’ve taken in the scenery a bit more, after all, I am on vacation. So I turned around, went back, and drove those 75 miles again.
Then I stopped to fill ‘er up. Man is it expensive to fill this thing.
I got a little hungry about an hour later so I pulled through the McDonalds. The drive thru was taking forever, so I figured I’d park and go in. Man was it hot outside. I left her running so when I came back out, she’d be nice and cool. And it was a damn good thing I did too, because inside the restaurant was not much faster.
About a half hour later I get back on the road. Only 3 more hours to go! I found myself cursing out McDonalds. When in the hell did they switch to this flimsy paper packaging? I got mustard all over my camo! What happened to those awesome, sturdy, styrofoam containers? Never had to worry about making a mess with those! Since the outside of the wrapper was as messy as the inside, I had no choice but to throw it out the window. I can’t get that on my leather seats. I just armoralled them. You ever use armorall? Shit’s great. But don’t buy the pump one, it just doesn’t work as well. They have the same brand in an aerosol container, hell, does half the work for you!
Then I pulled over for some gas. Also picked up some petrol for the grill. I can’t grill veal over an open fire. You’re just risking over cooking that meat. I need my veal rare.
So I finally get to my exit off the Northway. Absolutely breathtaking. After I stop off the exit and refuel, I head up the side of the mountain to my campsite. My huntin' buddies have beat me there. They drive WAY fast. The sun was about to come down so we got our fire going. No one brought any newspaper! We searched for something. I found a book called the Grapes of Wrath. Sounds too fancy to me. It worked great and that fire was going in no time.
It weren’t enough to keep me warm, so I got out my Carhartt. This thing is warmer than my granmommy’s lap on an August afternoon. It’s lined with fur. Not that imitation shit neither, no sir, this is the real deal.
The next day we did some hunting, fishing, swimming, you know, man stuff. Junior had a great idea of bobbing for bottles in the river. We found most of ‘em. Hey, you can’t win ‘em all. That Junior, what an smart ol’ coot he is.
Then we gassed up our boat and went out and fished some more. But I remembered we had our veal for dinner that night! And I aint about to sit around some rotting fish till tomorrow, so we threw ‘em back. Couple of them was still able to swim.
That night, we feasted on our veal. Most of it was edible, Junior over cooked some of it. The dogs wouldn’t even eat it!
All in all it was a great weekend. We spent some time making plans for next year. An Alaskan fishing trip. Junior’s got a cousin who works on an oil rig. He says we can drink on the boat if we’re careful, he does all the time. He says those things practically pilot themselves. If we’re lucky, we’ll see some seals! I’ve already got my club picked out. Have a nice summer, y’all!
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