The work force is a stressful environment, for some more stressful than others. It can cause tension, both inside and out. You may start to grind your teeth at night which causes you to lose sleep. Sitting in that cubicle for hours a day may hurt your back. Propping up the phone with your shoulder so you can multi-task by typing and talking at the same time can have a serious effect on your neck. All of these factors lead to pain and discomfort! When will it end?!?!?!?!
This, however, in no way justifies massaging one another in the office. I repeat, this DOES NOT JUSTIFY OFFICE MASSAGES. First of all if I may be so blunt, some of you are not even pleasant enough to look at much less look at you getting or giving a back massage. Some of you are not pleasant enough to listen to much less listen to you moan or declare how good it feels. It short, it’s just fucking gross.
There was a woman who used to sit behind me who in my opinion wasn’t smart enough to let her job stress her out. Let me explain. I work for Child Protective Services, not the most laid back environment. This woman (we’ll call her Margo) had to type up child abuse reports. She was so stupid that she couldn’t possibly process actual stressful situations. And she would explain this to you in her simpleton vernacular; “You just can’t let it get to you, gnome saying? You just gotta do it and forget it, gnome saying?” But if you used her french vanilla creamer she left in the communal fridge or raised the price of her egg salad sandwich in the lobby deli well look out! Her day was ruined. She would obsess and call everyone she knew. So when someone passes and sees poor ‘Margo’ in despair, they assume that it’s because she just had to type up a disturbing child abuse report. Those poor children, having to read about it day after day….so sad. Poor ‘Margo’. Here, let me help.
“Oooh, that feels good”. Breakfast is ruined. “You should get a job doing this, gnome saying?” Now here goes lunch. And this was only listening.
On the common occasion that you visually witness this, it’s even more disturbing. I can’t even get the gears churning in my head to illustrate my point. My brain is going on strike.
Now one might suggest doing this in a private area like an empty office, or a conference room. But that would be an inappropriate suggestion. I mean, that would be weird to steal away in the middle of the day to give your coworker a back massage, right? But it’s entirely appropriate to do it in front of my fragile eyes and weak stomach.
I’d rather listen to you groan about how much you hate your jobs. Oh wait, I get to hear that too.
This, however, in no way justifies massaging one another in the office. I repeat, this DOES NOT JUSTIFY OFFICE MASSAGES. First of all if I may be so blunt, some of you are not even pleasant enough to look at much less look at you getting or giving a back massage. Some of you are not pleasant enough to listen to much less listen to you moan or declare how good it feels. It short, it’s just fucking gross.
There was a woman who used to sit behind me who in my opinion wasn’t smart enough to let her job stress her out. Let me explain. I work for Child Protective Services, not the most laid back environment. This woman (we’ll call her Margo) had to type up child abuse reports. She was so stupid that she couldn’t possibly process actual stressful situations. And she would explain this to you in her simpleton vernacular; “You just can’t let it get to you, gnome saying? You just gotta do it and forget it, gnome saying?” But if you used her french vanilla creamer she left in the communal fridge or raised the price of her egg salad sandwich in the lobby deli well look out! Her day was ruined. She would obsess and call everyone she knew. So when someone passes and sees poor ‘Margo’ in despair, they assume that it’s because she just had to type up a disturbing child abuse report. Those poor children, having to read about it day after day….so sad. Poor ‘Margo’. Here, let me help.
“Oooh, that feels good”. Breakfast is ruined. “You should get a job doing this, gnome saying?” Now here goes lunch. And this was only listening.
On the common occasion that you visually witness this, it’s even more disturbing. I can’t even get the gears churning in my head to illustrate my point. My brain is going on strike.
Now one might suggest doing this in a private area like an empty office, or a conference room. But that would be an inappropriate suggestion. I mean, that would be weird to steal away in the middle of the day to give your coworker a back massage, right? But it’s entirely appropriate to do it in front of my fragile eyes and weak stomach.
I’d rather listen to you groan about how much you hate your jobs. Oh wait, I get to hear that too.
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